Sports Essay Ielts

IELTS Sample Writing Task 2:
Spending on Sport or Education

by Lenur Toshpulatov
(Termiz, Surkhandarya, Uzbekistan)

Governments should spend more money on education than sport.


Do you agree or disagree?


There is no doubt that almost every field has developed significantly over the past few decades and it is visible in both sport and education system. At the present time, many countries around the world are spending more money for developing of sport rather than education. As many people have claimed that the goverment should spend great proportion of money on education system. While, other believe that expenditure of money on sport’s development by the government can bring more advantages for developing of this society.

First of all, no one can deny that education system has an important role to improve people’s life. Of course, expenditure of money on education and modernizing of school places or developing teaching system are the wisely way to developing of society due to the gorment have to spend more money on education system than other systems.

Secondly, moreover, sport has vital influence to easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way when powerful leaders are trying to control world’s economy and other goverments are fighting over land. Because, every four years whole world stops to watch sporting events such us, Football World Cup and The Olympic Games. These events can be the main example that which system can gather all nations together even for a short time. According to the research the time when these events were holding the rate of crimes were decreased sharply. Moreover, everybody forgets their problems when starts these events. Consequently, spending more money on developing sport is the best way to easing international problems among people.

In my opinion, expenditure of money on education or sport it will be useful because, both education system and sport they have own great and an important effects in our life development that is why the government should spend equally money on both systems.

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Corrected Version:

There is no doubt that almost every field has developed significantly over the past few decades and it is visible in both sport and education . At the present time, many countries around the world are spending more money on developing sport rather than education. Many people have claimed that the government should spend a greater proportion of money on education , while others believe that expenditure of money on sport’s development by the government can bring more advantages for developing society.

First of all, no one can deny that the education system has an important role to improve people’s lives. Expenditure of money on education and modernizing of school places or developing teaching systemsis the wise way to develop society due to the fact thatgovernment has to spend more money on education than other areas.
(This is illogical – you have said it is the best way because the government has to spend more on it. Have you misunderstood the meaning of ‘due to’?)

However, sport has a vital influence in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way when powerful leaders are trying to control the world’s economy and other governments are fighting over land because every four years the whole world stops to watch sporting events such as the Football World Cup and The Olympic Games. These are events that can gather all nations together even for a short time. According to research, the time when these events were held, the rate of crimes decreased sharply(you should not really say this unless you can specify where the research came from - it will look like you are making things up in order to find support). Moreover, everybody forgets their problems when these events start. Consequently, spending more money on developing sport is the best way to ease international problems among people.

In my opinion, expenditure of money on education or sportwill be useful because both education and sport have their own great and an important effects in our life development. That is why the government should spend equal money on both .

FURTHER COMMENTS


This is better than the other essays you have done, as you potentially have some good ideas.

But you need to be careful with how you present them, and you need to be careful with your complex sentences.

Complex Sentences


As many people have claimed = You are using ‘as’ incorrectly.

while other believe that = You are using ‘while’ incorrectly too

Because, every four years whole world stops to watch sporting events such us, Football World Cup and The Olympic Games. = This is incorrect.

You are writing fragments.

These words make complex sentences, so they are used to join clauses, but you are writing them as one clause.

It would take too long to explain here, so do an internet search to check how to write complex sentences and what fragments are.

due to the government has to = If you are following ‘due to’ with subject and verb it should be ‘due to the fact that…’


Clarity of Ideas

You must explain your ideas properly. For example, in body paragraph 1 it is not enough just to say we should spend on schools because we can modernize them. Why is modernizing them good for people and society? You need to explain.

And try to avoid making very broad statements such as 'everybody forgets their problems'. Some people may, but I'm sure everyone doesn't.

You can use words such as 'some', 'may' etc make things less certain.

Thanks

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Return to Writing Submissions - Task 2.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample 40 - Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money

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Last Updated: Thursday, 22 December 2016 16:24
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IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay:

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Model Answer 1:
As a result of constant media attention, sports professionals in my country have become stars and celebrities, and those at the top are paid huge salaries. Just like movie stars, they live extravagant lifestyles with huge houses and cars.

Many people find their rewards unfair, especially when comparing these super salaries with those of top surgeons or research scientists or even leading politicians who have the responsibility of governing the country. However, sports salaries are not determined by considering the contribution to society a person makes, or the level of responsibility he or she holds. Instead, they reflect the public popularity of the sport in general and the level of public support that successful stars can generate. So the notion of ‘fairness’ is not the issue.

Those who feel that sports stars’ salaries are justified might argue that the numbers of professionals with real talent are very few, and the money is recognition of the skills and dedication a person needs to be successful. Competition is constant and a player is tested every time they perform in their relatively short career. The pressure from the media is intense and there is little privacy out of the spotlight. There is a huge number of sports persons compared to those who have become successful and having a huge salary. It takes lots of practice, skills and time to become a sports icon. Again Sports personality like Sachin Tendulkar, Tiger Woods, Shane Warne inspires the new generation to be attracted to the games they play.  So all of these factors may justify the huge earnings of the sports personality.

The first reason why I think that such high salary is deserved by famous athletes and entertainers because we all need them. Entertainment plays an essential role in our everyday's life. We need to relax, watching TV with our favourite TV stars or favourite football players. Entertainment is one of the best ways to eliminate stress and tension and leave all troubles behind. For example, I can not stay home all day long without watching TV. So, basically, I believe that famous athletes and entertainers have such high salaries because we need them. They like doctors for our minds and soles. Scientists say that people usually spend the same amount of money for their food and entertainment. I think this fact tells a lot.

The second reason for this is that famous athletes have to work hard in order to get good results. I am sure that achievements they make are the result of hard work, persistence and pain. They sometimes risk their lives and health. For example, I am a big fan of L. Amstrong, the most famous cyclist in world's history. He faced probably, the most challenging difficulty in his life, cancer. He was very young for this disease. Amstrong was in his early twenties when he found out about it. I read a book about his life, and what impressed me were his words after his victory in France. He said: "Cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me ". He defeated the disease only because he believed in himself and did not give up. I think such person deserves to have a high salary and be loved by many people throughout the world.

Personally, I think that the amount of money such sports stars make is more justified than the huge earnings of movie stars, but at the same time, it indicates that our society places more value on the sport than on the essential professions and achievements.

(Approximately587words)

(This model answer has been prepared by the site developer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible answers.You should be able to pick up the main points from this essay and organize in your own style)

 

Model Answer 2:
Cristiano Ronaldo, David Beckham, Tiger woods are some famous sports professionals who earn a great deal. The reason behind these great deals is the constant media attention on them.  However, it is true that they do not contribute too much to a society like doctors and scientist.

Sports professionals who earn a great deal of money are the hard workers in their respective field.  They use all their efforts for the success of their one and of their teams.  The person with real talent in the field are very few that is why they worth the deal. Even more, A player has a short career and he is tested in that period with the massive competition on the respective field. The pressure of media is intense and there is no privacy in their life. So, this can also justify the huge earnings.

However, Sports professional does not contribute more to the society. Other high profile professionals like doctors make a great contribution to the society by treating sick and injured people. Furthermore, scientists who work for the new invention and climate change also contribute more for the society. If we favour these points then they must have a great deal of money. However, the salary of sports professional is not determined by the percentage they contribute to society.

Personally, I think the mega deal of money sports professional received is more justified than the huge earnings of the movie stars. This also points out the importance and value of sports than on other professions and achievements.

(Approximately250words)

[ Answer by Sunil Pandit ]

 

Model Answer 3:
Nowadays, sports professionals are obtaining more attention among people from all over the world. Media is one of the main reasons that make a person get fame in no time. So the sports persons are being treated like celebrities worldwide. To give a piece of one's mind, talented sports persons should be compensated with more pay.

To be at loggerheads, some might feel this suggestion is unfair. It is a fact that not all the sports stars are talented than the people who works in other esteemed professions such as doctors, scientists and politicians. They play an important role in the growth of their nation. Whereas sports persons play for themselves by using their country's name only as a label, sometimes they bring success and fame for the whole nation. Because of media, people give keen attention to sports celebrities and treat other professions scornfully.

In an honour bound, those who have mere talents must be paid with a huge amount of money. It is indeed that not all sports persons are successful in their careers. People who have the audacity and hard working nature are the one who relishes with the victory. Even though they play for their personal goal, achievements they make in sports also make the nation very proud. Considering this reason, it is fully justified to let a sports person to earn a great deal of money.

To conclude, the sports professionals with suffice tendency to accomplish something in their career are justified to acquire huge earnings. It clearly depicts that, sports professions has more value than other essential professions around the world.

(Approximately265words)

[ Answer by Yazhini Venugopal ]

 

Model Answer 4:
Nowadays, famous athletes earn huge amount of money while even great scientists’ income can hardly reach to one-tenth of them. People have been sharply polarised by this issue; hence, few people can be found in the middle position. But what do each group state?

Advocates of talented sportsmen claim they are unique in their field. They can absorb the attention of hundreds of millions to TV screens as a consequence of their brilliant performance. Therefore, either the manager of matches or team owners can advertise in prime time or on their jerseys and make fortunes. In economic terms, supply and demand dictate commodities prices in the market. If a strong demand and a severe shortage exist for these heroes, why should they undervalue themselves? After all, this is how capitalism works.

On the opposite front, a vast crowd feels this reality is an injustice. They argue that those who are high achievers in other fields are unique, too. Furthermore, they compare the net income of some gifted scholars with mediocre football players and the outcome is awful in their viewpoint. Surely, all scientists don’t earn the same, but even Noble laureates earn less than sports celebrities. For instance, one of my genius colleagues complains non-stop, comparing his salary with a renowned superstar, Ronaldo. Although he has a good wage in comparison with our coworkers, he needs to save all his earnings to reach to Ronaldo’s weekly income level.

All in all, I think both parties have some elements of truth in their remarks. Nonetheless, the reality, however, harsh it is, will not vary unless the economic system evolves. Capitalism is not a matter of morality. To make it ethical, in my point of view, a tax code with no loopholes should be in place which has higher rates for those with multimillion monthly packages to compensate this bitter situation and dedicate this money to the well-being of humanity.

(Approximately265words)

[ Answer by Ali Kazemian ]

Model Answer 5:
There is no hesitation in saying that celebrities like film stars and sports stars are paid considerably high amount of money than those who are in important professions like bureaucracy, doctors and engineers.

Generally, Sport starts, apart from excelling in their game, they also entertain a large number of people. This naturally gets the attention of the public and the media. So they become very popular. Commercial product manufacturers take advantage of this popularity and they use these famous personalities to promote their product by paying ample amount of money. A great example for this is Sachin Tendulkar, A famous cricketer in India, who is treated as the god of cricket. He acted in many advertisement films supporting numerous mercenary brands. Most of his income is out this job than batting in the field. This proves that the celebrities earn more money by influencing society than doing their own job.

On the other hand, the main reason for the people in crucial professions is not paid as much as sports stars are due to lack of identification. These people normally stick to their own job and most importantly the outcomes of their jobs are not entertaining. Also, media doesn’t show interest in focusing their work. Even if a documentary is telecasted on their achievements, people just watch and ignore it. A great example of this is Mr Vishweswar, who was a chief architect of one of the major irrigation projects in India. In his project, the design of the reservoir is so amazing that it has become the key resource of water for thousands of hectors of cultivating the land. Though his achievement contributed major role in the eradication of poverty in south India by reducing the cost of farming, he was not paid any extra money for this. This proves that people can’t become wealthy by helping the society.

In conclusion, I strongly feel that the attitude of the people should change. They should identify the real heroes. Every individual should realise that the people who give benefits to the society should get paid more that those who entertain them.

(Approximately347words)

[ Answer by Ramesh NV ]

Model Answer 6:
There are many disputes over the high salaries of the top sports people. Although reasons can be given to unjustified this, personally I believe that sports professional deserve this high wages.

Many people believe that top sports persons earn too much money that they don’t deserve due to two main reasons. First reason: people believe that sports professional do not provide a vital service to communities like other important professional do. Football players, for example, earn enormous salaries by simply kicking a ball is something they often refer. The second reason: while life would be difficult without doctors, engineers and other vital professionals, people could all live happily without professional sports star.

On the other hand, I would argue that there are many causes to support the high income in sport. Firstly, people who reach the highest level in sport must be highly skilled and talented. They take training and practise every day to reach this level of professionalism. So, Hard working and dedicated workers deserve high wages. Secondly, the sports professional is more susceptible to serious injury. If they get hurt, they need more money to recovery and support their families meanwhile. Also, they will not be playing the sports they play for the rest of their life. Most athletes retire after the age of forty or sometimes even earlier. Finally, sports salaries are only high because sports fans are willing to pay much money to watch their favourite stars.

In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against sports professional high salaries, but I believe that they deserve the salaries they currently earn.

(Approximately263words)

[ Answer by Safa Ahmed ]

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